Another Brilliant Result of Federalizing Airport Security

Security officers, newly trained in “behavior recognition” screening, will scan the crowds for travelers who appear to be nervous and will pull them aside for extra scrutiny.

That’s right, they’ll be looking for people who are nervous getting on airplanes. Because nobody ever got nervous about flying for any reason other than planning to hikack a plane and there’s certainly no reason to be nervous about flying with the brilliant minds of Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service to protect you.

Air Travelers In for Changes Over Holidays

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