Prepare to be shocked!

Virginia Beach police:

confiscated two display photos of scantily clad men and a woman from an Abercrombie & Fitch store and cited the manager on a misdemeanor obscenity charge, authorities said.

Unlike Forbes and all the other folks reporting on this, I headed over to Abercrombie & Fitch’s website and stole made fair use of one of the photos in question.

So, prepare to be shocked! Read no further if you are easily offended. Very easily. Very, very, very, very, very easily. If you are the product of 100 generations of immaculate conception and have never hired a plumber, you may be offended. On the other hand, if you were not offended by that plumber reference – read on.

I did this partially so that you, dear reader, would never have to run afoul of Virginia’s prudish obscenity laws. But please, ascribe no socially redeeming value to my work. I make no claim of “serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value” for this post. I did it almost entirely to appeal to your prurient interest. Here’s to community values! Oh, but damn the luck, the photos don’t depict or describe “in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct or excretory functions.” In fact, they don’t depict or describe sexual conduct or excretory functions at all.

Abercrombie and Fitch ad not even remotely obscene

So much for that obscenity charge. Back to law school for the Virginia Beach prosecutor.


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