Government shutting down.
National debt exploding.
Genetically modified food is poisoning us.
The government can’t even run a website.
There’s an island of garbage floating in the Pacific and nobody smart enough to exploit it.
Syrians at war because Bashar Assad can serve until 2014 under the new constitution.
Hives are collapsing.
The fourth largest city in the US has a gay mayor. Still.
Health insurance is cancelled.
Ice caps are melting…then freezing again when winter hits.
Chris Christie was re-elected.
There are hormones in the milk.
Deadly superbugs and the end of antibiotics. Period.
The next President of the United States is Hillary Clinton.
The Chinese own us, but want to nuke us.
The next President of the United States is Ted Cruz.
No more Astrodome.
Seventy percent of the earth is covered by water, but we’re running out.
And apparently, I’m not the only who feels fine. Stocks closed at record highs today.